A series of unfortunate events recently led me to spend a few hours over the course of a few days at the dentist office.
They've robbed me.
Of money.
Of time.
Of the FEELING OF HALF MY FACE.
Friday, it was the left side. When they first numbed me up, it wasn't very strong. I could still feel my tongue and most of my lips on that side. Once they got started, I was clearly uncomfortable and so I think the doc decided to just be extra sure I couldn't feel anything and went full steam ahead with the happy numbing needle. After that I didn't feel a thing (can I get a hallelujah!?). If only they could have numbed my eardrums too so I didn't have to hear anything either. Ugh.
Anyway, I walked out of that place certain that the left side of my face was the size of three grapefruits. Slurring my words and half-smiling, I couldn't believe that it was possible that I looked almost normal! Every time I poked my lip or put on chapstick, it just led to a fit of giggles. Numbness anywhere in my body has been known to bring out the giggles in me.
Eventually, it all led me to taking a series of selfies. It happens.
Turns out... you really would never be able to tell that my lip felt like a slug and my tongue had been rendered useless.
Then my roommate brought me a hot fudge shake from Sonic (I didn't even buy the girl a stinking birthday present, and yet she spoils me with treats after a simple dentist procedure. Yeah, i'm the worst friend ever). Well anyway, the functioning half of my tongue thoroughly enjoyed the chocolatey goodness. It may or may not have taken me a little while to realize that some spoonfuls were leaking out all over my chin... but nobody needs to see that.
Saturday morning I woke up with a surprise, and not a happy one: throat swollen, cheeks puffy, and lips nearing Angelina Jolie status. I might have freaked out a little bit and immediately sent off this picture to my mother asking whattheheckdoIdonow?! I share this picture publicly with the plea that you note the very real panic in my eyes and choose not to make fun of my just woke up/allergic reaction status face. Please and thank you.
Okay fine, i'll allow 3 seconds of genuine laughter. I at least gave myself that much.
Today I went back for round #2.
THANK HEAVENS it is finally over. Right side is thoroughly numb now, and I am just hoping and praying I don't have another reaction to the anesthetic. I'd rather not have to walk around campus tomorrow with a scarf hiding my face so I don't scare any of the little freshmen... or, you know, any of the cute (non-freshmen) men. Fingers crossed.
But oh baby i'll tell ya what, if ever there was a time to get my tongue pierced, its now! Also, with half a face as numb as mine, I can't help but imagine how hilarious it would be to attempt to kiss someone right now. Again, i'm struck with the giggles as I try to imagine it. Numbed up girl is cracking herself up over here. Its a good thing they don't give any loopy meds with the numbing stuff... you just never know what that combo might lead me to try! :)
Okay well anyway...
Cheers to diligently brushing your teeth and flossing daily and getting cavities anyway.
Life is so fair.
Happy(ish) monday!
