So I had a big interview today.
I wasn't applying for any kind of prestigious new school or job position.
It wasn't conducted across the desk from someone trying to get a good feel for my qualifications.
I wasn't dressed nice and I didn't get nervous sweaty hands.
I think I was chewing gum and probably didn't have any shoes on.
In fact, there was no verbal communication.
But I really DID have a big interview today.
It was with myself.
This morning I was challenged by an Apostle of God, M. Russell Ballard, to do just this. In a regional conference held at the Marriott Center in Provo, Utah, he challenged thousands of young adults - men and women, single and married, parents or not - to conduct an interview with themselves. Despite busy schedules filled with jobs and school and family obligations, he encouraged us to find a quiet and private place to take time to meditate, ponder, and reflect on our own lives.
He suggested a few questions we may want to consider asking ourselves during this interview. Some tie in closely to questions that might be asked in an official job interview setting: What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What are your goals to become better? Others are more reflective, more spiritual, and take deeper thought: Where am I in my life? How can I become the powerfully spiritual individual I have the capability of becoming? Are there changes that I need to make in order to feel closer to God? Am I anchored to things of real importance and do I have my life built upon a solid foundation?
One of my favorite qualities to discover in other people that I greatly admire is self-awareness. And i'll be honest, I don't find that self-awareness is one of my own personal strengths. I have realized that the people who are the most genuine and real are the people who know themselves. They actually understand themselves. Without being possessed by feelings of selfishness or pride, they have a knowledge of who they are as a child of Heavenly Father, as a human being on this earth, and as a contribution to society. I want to be that way, which is why I found Elder Ballard's challenge to conduct a self-interview so powerful.
As this day comes to a close, my heart is feeling very full. It has just been one of those days where my cup runneth over. I feel so blessed by so many different people and things. Nothing spectacularly amazing happened today, but I can't help but recognize the big and little blessings surrounding me that bring my so much joy. Every morning I wake up in a beautiful apartment that shelters me and makes me feel happy. I have delicious food in my fridge to keep my body healthy and strong. Also I currently have candy corn :) Matty supports my decision to wear heels even though it makes me crazy tall, and then he helps me walk in them without falling on my face when I later realize what a silly decision I have made. I live in a place that allows me to be regularly instructed by prophets of God. I had a Sunday off of work, which allowed for church attendance and a glorious hour-long nap on the couch curled up in a warm blanket. Fall leaves and colors are everywhere and I love it! I have parents who like to reconnect with me on a regular basis, and we have the wonderful technology that allows us to do so! Matt made a delicious dinner tonight, sharing with me and giving me a day off cooking. I was able to talk and catch up for hours with some of my favorite girls on the face of this planet while eating delicious chex mix and pumpkin chocolate chip bread. I am in love with (and loved by) a wonderful man who leaves the best notes ever on my pillow for me to find before bed. Can you begin to see why my heart is so full?
As I went through today having so many great experiences, I used those times in addition to my quiet private reflection time to conduct my self-interview. What are my intentions with myself? Where am I going? Who am I becoming? What parts of my life can I tweak in order to become a better person, a better daughter, a better sister, a better nurse, a better friend? I may not always be the most self-aware, but I do know this: I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him. I have a Savior who sacrificed his life for me. I am part of an eternal family, and I want to do everything I can to reach God's kingdom where I can be with them forever. I know the gospel taught within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true and living gospel. I am so grateful to be able to know all of those things.
As this week goes on, my self-interview will continue.
At any time I can choose shut down my constantly playing Pandora stations and instead take a few minutes to reflect. And always, always, I can turn to Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for his help in coming to understand myself better and having the strength and awareness to make any changes that need to be made. I know that as I strengthen myself through self-interviews, I will better prepare myself for the day when I meet my maker and am interviewed by Him before entering His kingdom. Believe me, thats something I want to be ready for.
Whether you were in attendance today at the Marriott Center or not, even whether you are LDS or not, I would challenge you all to take a few minutes, even just 15 short little minutes, to power down the electronics, set homework aside for a brief little while, send the kids out to play, do whatever you need to to conduct a self-interview.
Do you know who you are?
