Have you ever personally felt the wrath of an angry bird who seems to have taken it upon themselves to scare the bageebees out of you? When I woke up this morning, my answer to that question would have been no. But as I go to sleep tonight, the answer to that question is a definite yes. I've only told the story to about 64 people today, so I just haven't done it justice quite yet. Hence the topic of tonight's post: my encounter with an foul fowl.
It all began when I left the apartment at 7ish this morning to go running before my weight lifting class. Today I was just scheduled for an easy 3 so I decided to head over to the outdoor BYU track. It was a beautiful morning, the sun was shining, the air was crisp, and life was good. I shared the track with only 3 other girls and then there were some guys throwing a rugby ball on the fields nearby. All was fine and dandy until I looked up to see one of the girls stopped on the track up ahead. She started again, then stopped again. Confused, I watched her for a minute while I ran. As the distance between us closed, I realized there was a little bird that stood firmly in her desired running lane. As soon as she'd start to run around it, it would take off and land again right in front of where she was about to run. As an observer, this was hilarious scene to behold. I couldn't help but laugh at the pattern of this strange little creature. As I passed her I made a quick little joke about how that was certainly not normal bird behavior. And this, my friends, is where it got ugly. The bird switched targets. Maybe my bright green shirt captured its attention, or maybe as my sister suggested it just liked the way I smelled... I don't know, but something about me made the crazy thing zero in on me. Suddenly the cute little bird seemed not so little and not so cute. It became a demon bird, out to get me. We're talking Hitchcock's The Birds status. First, it flew about 10 feet ahead of me, parked itself in my lane, and then stared me down, daring me to come any closer. When I realized it was down for a game of chicken (hahaha pun totally intended), I simply chose to lose the game and diverted my path around it. Mere moments later I was startled with the noise of wings flapping as the bird took off again and veered right. at. me. My morning workout instantly changed from a nice quick jog to frantic ducking, squealing, diverting, and sprinting. As soon as I thought I was finally out of harm's way, the process would repeat itself. Again and again, the bird swooped and dived, stalking me all the way around the track! I'm sure I attracted the undesired attention of everyone around and caused quite a few snickers. I tried stopping and starting again, I tried sprinting, slowing down, going around it, everything! Eventually after one of the times it landed I cut across the track so I wouldn't even have to get near it again and I think I threw it off, enough that I got away safely with my life. It was a close call really, I mean come on. Bird attack?! I felt like I was the star of Birdemic (Rachel, thats for you!).
I half wish I had had someone there with a video camera. Then, I could have been another famous helpless bird attack victim like the ones seen here:
Hilarious, right? Yeah, that was me... except that my bird was probably 1/4 the size of any of these ones... and it never actually touched me... Oh but if you had seen those eyes, you would understand. Sure, sure, laugh at my expense now if you so desire. But should you ever fall victim to a foul fowl, I solemnly swear not to mock you, and we can share in our bird nightmares together forever, or at least until we seek some serious therapy.
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